Tip – Take time during this coming holiday season to visit a friend in need.

During the upcoming holiday season, as our thoughts turn to family and friends, may I suggest we consider visiting someone we know who might need a visit. Let me share a story of an experience I recently had.

When I was growing up, my Mom encouraged me to try new things. One day, she asked me if I wanted a tape recorder. Since I loved recording and listening to music, I told her I did. My Mom then left my room without any explanation.

A few weeks later Mom came to me with a large gray and white case. It was heavy and bigger than most suitcases. She gave me the case and said, “Here’s your accordion.” I don’t know how I confused tape recorder with accordion, but my life was about to change.

Mom arranged for me to take accordion lessons from a neighbor, who I will call Maria. Maria was born in Pocatello, but her family was from Spain. Mom set up a schedule for me to practice every morning at 6:30 a.m. and have a lesson once a week at Maria’s home.

Holding my accordion case with my right hand and leaning to my left to get the case off the ground, I carried my accordion up Maria’s sidewalk to her front door for my lessons. Each week, Maria gave me songs to play and practice. Her favorite song was “Lady of Spain.” Even at my young age, I sensed that it had a special meaning to her. Here are a couple of lines from Lady of Spain.

“Lady of Spain, I adore you.
Right from the night I first saw you.”

I met with Maria for my lessons for a few years. Then one day it ended. I don’t remember when or why I stopped taking lessons. I suspect my mom recognized that my heart wasn’t in it—all I wanted to do was play basketball. Even though I hadn’t learned to play the accordion very well, I had made friends with Maria.

Marriage, family, church, career—I didn’t see Maria often as the years passed. I reconnected with her a few years ago. As an Estate Planning Attorney, Maria came to me to have me review her Trust. I didn’t see her after that for a few more years. I often had the thought that I should visit Maria, but I was busy with my law practice, focused on getting things done, and just never made the visit.

As Maria got older, she hired a friend of mine as a caregiver. My friend called me one day to tell me it was Maria’s 95th birthday. Maria only lived a few blocks from my office, and I was free that afternoon, so I decided to visit her and wish her happy birthday.

When I entered her home, Maria was sitting in a recliner, with a blanket over her. A walker stood near her chair. Maria’s face lit up, and we talked. After a while, our conversation turned to when I had taken accordion lessons from her as a boy. As we talked, Maria asked me, “Will you play Lady of Spain on your accordion for me?” How could I turn her down? If that is what Maria wanted, I was determined to do it for her. As I left her home, I thought maybe I could learn it by Christmas,
and it could be a Christmas present.

I went to the music store and purchased the sheet music for Lady of Spain. I opened my accordion case and took out my accordion and put it on. After all those years, it still felt familiar as I put the worn leather straps over my shoulders and placed my left hand on the base notes and my right hand on the piano keys.

I quickly realized that I had no idea how to play the accordion or read sheet music. I tried watching YouTube videos but decided if I was going to play Lady of Spain I was going to have to find a teacher. I asked around but couldn’t find any accordion teachers in Southeast Idaho.

Three months had passed since Maria’s birthday, and I hadn’t made much progress. I debated going to Maria and explaining to her that I tried, but I just couldn’t learn Lady of Spain. Then, an idea came to me. I needed an accordion teacher; Maria taught the accordion. Maybe she would be willing to give me lessons. I visited Maria and asked her if she would be willing to teach me how to play Lady of Spain on the accordion. Maria readily accepted.

I began taking lessons once again with Maria in January 2024—sixty years since I had taken lessons from her as a young boy. I walked to her front door for my first lesson with my accordion case in hand. I opened the front door and called, “Maria it’s Tom. I’m here for my lesson.”

Each week I met with Maria and would learn a little more about the notes and keys. I began playing parts of Lady of Spain first with the base notes, then the piano keys, and then both together.

I could see that Maria enjoyed my visits, and I was glad to do something that brightened her day. When I told Maria it was time for me to leave, she would always ask “Do you have to go? I met with Maria once a week from January to July. Even though I didn’t practice much in between our lessons, each lesson I would learn a little more, and I was getting better. I told Maria during one lesson that I would like to see my Mom because I knew she was in heaven smiling. Maria replied, “Your Mom wanted you to play the accordion.”

By July, I was starting to be able to play Lady of Spain. During my lesson, Maria would clap out the beat and count “One, two, three, one, two, three” and hum along as I played.

After one of my lessons, I thought to myself, if I really practiced this week, I could play Lady of Spain all the way through for Maria like I promised her. The next week, I practiced 45 minutes 3 times before my lesson.

When I went for my lesson, I was excited to play Lady of Spain for Maria. After getting everything arranged, I began playing. It had a few rough spots, but I played Lady of Spain all the way through. I had kept my promise!

After I finished, Maria said, “Let’s do it again!” She counted out the beat and sang along as I played. I went home that night and told my wife that I had played Lady of Spain for Maria, however, she had seemed more frail than usual.

The next week when I went to Maria’s house, she wasn’t in her chair. She was lying in her bed. Her care provider told me she had gone downhill quickly and was dying.

I waited until I had a chance to be with Maria alone. I held her hand and leaned close to her ear and said, “Maria, this is Tom; Lady of Spain, I adore you.” A faint smile crossed her lips, and I said goodbye. A couple of days later Maria passed away.

I had a lot of fun this past year meeting with Maria and giving her something to look forward to. My visits with Maria did as much for me as they did for her.

View our “Senior’s Guide to a Well-Planned Future” on our website! Packer Elder Care Law – with you for life!

Tom Packer is an Elder Law Attorney serving all Southeast Idaho. As part of his law practice, Tom offers Life Care Planning to deal with the challenges created by long-term illness, disability and incapacity. If you have a question about a Senior’s legal, financial or healthcare needs, please call us.

October 2024